( he hardly understands what she means when she accuses him of scaring her. Storybrooke is that way, isn't it—leaping from one threat to the next with no breathing room in between. he hardly remembers the mixed up world the author had thrown them in, the fact he'd been cut down by some snarled and broken version of her father trying to protect her, because he's lost himself to the next new panic. much more overwhelming than the last, because this darkness might not be possible to fight. she can ask him not to scare her but he'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. he'll always see her life as more valuable than his. he's risked his life for her before, he'll do it again, even if she doesn't like it, even though she's very good at saving herself. she's the hero, the savior with a heart so strong she'd sacrifice it to darkness to save a crowd of people that didn't deserve it. comparatively he was a reforming villain whose past was stained with mistakes. if one of them had to fall, it should be him.
he's not likely to ever make Emma think that way, granted, but it's equally impossible to change his mind.
there's some bitter irony that she's worried about him when not even hours ago she brokenly told him she loved him—something he's been waiting for, hoping for, something that should have been the best moment in his miserable life—and took on the curse to save them all. it's undeniably her, and he can't resent her for doing what she did. Emma will always put the happiness and safety of others before herself, it's beautiful, admirable, remarkable; it doesn't save him from being terrified what might happen, now that she's set to be poisoned by the darkness tethered to the dagger. he wants to have faith she can overcome it, but it's impossible to know when he doesn't know where she is.
he's searching for stains of that curse, confusion marked in his expression. just because it hasn't changed her appearance, doesn't mean she's safe. still, the heat of the moment requires more than just staring, and luckily for him Emma doesn't seem to mind. they're both a bit overwhelmed by the panic of losing someone, a harrowing threat that seems to constantly hang over their head. he had refused to try to love again after Milah, certain he couldn't take another loss. he'd lived for centuries that way, squandering in a darkness of his own making until she'd burst into his life like a light he couldn't ignore, drawing him forward. Emma has shown him that everything they have is worth too much not to fight for it. it's like not living at all, to close a heart to love. now that he's found it again he's not going to let himself be afraid of it.
his forehead presses to hers, just drowning in the fact that she's here and more or less, seems all right. he doesn't expect anything after the fumbled exhale. he already knows, he knew before that moment when she looked at him with tears in her eyes and the dagger clenched in her grip. he knew it on the bed, could see it in her eyes and her smile and that was enough until she was ready. it aches a little, that she told him only when everything fell apart, that she was ripped away before he could say it back, but he's righting that wrong now. when his eyes manage to open he sees that smile again, that same one that was playing on her features as she pinned him against mattress, and he doesn't need her to say what he already knows...
but that doesn't lessen the impact of hearing her say it in a happy breath, instead of a tortured one.
he smiles back, he can't not; it's just a boyish twist of his lips before he kisses her again, heart still pounding a bit painfully. he's learned long ago love isn't enough to keep someone safe. loving him especially just seems to be a death sentence. he still wants to drown in that fact for a bit. Emma Swan loves him, they've crossed that hurdle he wasn't sure they ever would. it may not be perfect and it may not be true but love was more than enough for him. he kisses her like he bloody well might die without it, like there's a ship sinking around them and this is their last chance, and then he kisses her harder because it's not their last chance, he won't let it be.
when he pulls back, it's because he needs to focus. it's always too easy to drown in her, he just can't afford that temptation when even now, standing before him, she could be in danger. )
Emma, the curse— Do you feel differently? All that darkness, and then you disappeared, I thought— ( his hand curves over her cheek, and looking in her eyes it seems very much like she's perfectly well, but he can't believe even that. ) You disappeared, did it bring you here? ( why on earth would it do that? )
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he's not likely to ever make Emma think that way, granted, but it's equally impossible to change his mind.
there's some bitter irony that she's worried about him when not even hours ago she brokenly told him she loved him—something he's been waiting for, hoping for, something that should have been the best moment in his miserable life—and took on the curse to save them all. it's undeniably her, and he can't resent her for doing what she did. Emma will always put the happiness and safety of others before herself, it's beautiful, admirable, remarkable; it doesn't save him from being terrified what might happen, now that she's set to be poisoned by the darkness tethered to the dagger. he wants to have faith she can overcome it, but it's impossible to know when he doesn't know where she is.
he's searching for stains of that curse, confusion marked in his expression. just because it hasn't changed her appearance, doesn't mean she's safe. still, the heat of the moment requires more than just staring, and luckily for him Emma doesn't seem to mind. they're both a bit overwhelmed by the panic of losing someone, a harrowing threat that seems to constantly hang over their head. he had refused to try to love again after Milah, certain he couldn't take another loss. he'd lived for centuries that way, squandering in a darkness of his own making until she'd burst into his life like a light he couldn't ignore, drawing him forward. Emma has shown him that everything they have is worth too much not to fight for it. it's like not living at all, to close a heart to love. now that he's found it again he's not going to let himself be afraid of it.
his forehead presses to hers, just drowning in the fact that she's here and more or less, seems all right. he doesn't expect anything after the fumbled exhale. he already knows, he knew before that moment when she looked at him with tears in her eyes and the dagger clenched in her grip. he knew it on the bed, could see it in her eyes and her smile and that was enough until she was ready. it aches a little, that she told him only when everything fell apart, that she was ripped away before he could say it back, but he's righting that wrong now. when his eyes manage to open he sees that smile again, that same one that was playing on her features as she pinned him against mattress, and he doesn't need her to say what he already knows...
but that doesn't lessen the impact of hearing her say it in a happy breath, instead of a tortured one.
he smiles back, he can't not; it's just a boyish twist of his lips before he kisses her again, heart still pounding a bit painfully. he's learned long ago love isn't enough to keep someone safe. loving him especially just seems to be a death sentence. he still wants to drown in that fact for a bit. Emma Swan loves him, they've crossed that hurdle he wasn't sure they ever would. it may not be perfect and it may not be true but love was more than enough for him. he kisses her like he bloody well might die without it, like there's a ship sinking around them and this is their last chance, and then he kisses her harder because it's not their last chance, he won't let it be.
when he pulls back, it's because he needs to focus. it's always too easy to drown in her, he just can't afford that temptation when even now, standing before him, she could be in danger. )
Emma, the curse— Do you feel differently? All that darkness, and then you disappeared, I thought— ( his hand curves over her cheek, and looking in her eyes it seems very much like she's perfectly well, but he can't believe even that. ) You disappeared, did it bring you here? ( why on earth would it do that? )